The Bible describes selfishness as seeking our own good at the expense of others and of God: "For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's" (Philippians 2:21). The cure is Christ's example, "For even Christ pleased not himself" (Romans 15:3), and a new direction: "Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth" (1 Corinthians 10:24).
Selfishness is easy to spot in other people and hard to see in the mirror. It shows up in small things, like taking the last slice, ignoring a text from someone who needs help or always steering the conversation back to ourselves, and in big ones, like greed, broken promises and families pulled apart. People look up Bible verses about selfishness to deal honestly with their own heart, to talk with a teenager or spouse, to prepare a lesson, or because someone has hurt them and they want to understand. These twelve King James verses show what selfishness looks like, how Jesus lived the opposite way, and practical steps toward a more generous life. For thinking of others first, see humility; for generosity, see giving.
What selfishness looks like
1. Philippians 2:21
"For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's."
Paul was in prison and wanted to send someone he could trust to the church at Philippi. Only Timothy truly cared, he says: "For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state" (Philippians 2:20). Everyone else was busy with their own concerns. Selfishness is often not dramatic; it is simply being too occupied with our own things to notice anyone else.
2. Genesis 4:9
"And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?"
After murdering his brother, Cain answers God with a shrug: Am I my brother's keeper? It is the first recorded excuse for not caring. The whole Bible answers yes: we are responsible for one another. The story shows how selfishness, envy and anger can grow when they are not dealt with. God had warned Cain that sin was crouching at the door (Genesis 4:7). See jealousy.
3. Luke 12:20-21
"But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God."
Jesus told a parable about a rich farmer whose land produced a bumper crop (Luke 12:16). His only plan was to build bigger barns and say to himself, "Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry" (Luke 12:19). God calls him a fool. Notice the farmer never mentions God or anyone else. His problem was not wealth, but a life curved in on itself.
4. Luke 22:24
"And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest."
At the Last Supper, hours before Jesus went to the cross, His disciples argued about which of them was the greatest. Selfish ambition can show up in the holiest places. Jesus answered by redefining greatness as service: "I am among you as he that serveth" (Luke 22:27). John's Gospel says that the same night He washed their feet (John 13:5).
The unselfish way of Jesus
5. Romans 15:3
"For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me."
Paul quotes Psalm 69:9 to show that Jesus took on Himself the insults aimed at God. He did not live to please Himself, from the manger to the cross. This verse comes in a passage about strong believers bearing with weaker ones (Romans 15:1-2). Unselfishness in church often looks like giving up your preferences for the sake of someone else's faith.
6. 2 Corinthians 5:15
"And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again."
Jesus died for everyone so that those who live should not henceforth live unto themselves. The gospel does not just forgive selfishness; it gives a new centre for life. A few verses later Paul writes, "if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature" (2 Corinthians 5:17). Living for Christ naturally turns us outward. See new creation.
7. Romans 14:7
"For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself."
None of us liveth to himself. Our choices always affect other people, our family, our church, our neighbours. Paul's point in context is that every believer belongs to the Lord, in life and death (Romans 14:8). Because we belong to Him, we are free to stop treating life as a private project and to consider how our freedom affects others.
8. 1 Corinthians 10:24
"Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth."
In the KJV wealth here means well-being, not money. Paul is talking about whether to eat food offered to idols, a hot topic in Corinth, and his rule is simple: do not ask only what is allowed for you; ask what is good for the other person. It is a test you can apply to almost any decision. See loving thy neighbor.
Practising generosity
9. 1 Corinthians 10:33
"Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved."
Paul describes his own way of life: not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many. He adapted his habits and gave up his rights so that more people could hear about Jesus. This is not people-pleasing for approval, which Paul rejects elsewhere (Galatians 1:10); it is setting aside self-interest for other people's good.
10. Proverbs 21:26
"He coveteth greedily all the day long: but the righteous giveth and spareth not."
Proverbs contrasts two kinds of people. One coveteth greedily all the day long, always wanting more. The other giveth and spareth not. Selfishness keeps a person hungry; generosity sets them free. The cure for craving is not getting everything you want, but learning to give. See money.
11. Proverbs 28:27
"He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hideth his eyes shall have many a curse."
He that hideth his eyes is someone who deliberately looks away from need, like crossing the street or scrolling past. Proverbs promises that the generous will not lack, and warns that those who refuse to see will find their own lives under a curse. Selfishness is often less about what we do than about what we choose not to notice.
12. Proverbs 11:26
"He that withholdeth corn, the people shall curse him: but blessing shall be upon the head of him that selleth it."
In ancient Israel some traders hoarded grain during shortages, waiting for prices to rise. People cursed them. Those who sold at a fair price were blessed. The verse speaks to business ethics and to everyday life: holding back what others need for our own advantage is selfishness, and sharing freely brings blessing. See business.
A short prayer
Lord Jesus, You pleased not Yourself, and You gave everything for me. Show me where my life has curved in on itself, in my words, my time, my money and my plans. Open my eyes to the needs I have been looking away from. Teach me to seek other people's good and to give without counting the cost. Fill me with Your love so that I can love the people You put around me. In Your name, Amen.
Go deeper: a SOAP study prompt
Pick one verse above and write: - Scripture: copy the verse by hand. - Observation: what does it say? Who is speaking, to whom? - Application: what does it mean for you today? - Prayer: turn it into a two-line prayer.
New to this method? See our Bible study guide or pick a Bible reading plan.
Ask God to search your heart with the 30-Day Prayer Journal · Memorize Philippians 2 and Romans 15:3 with Scripture Memory Cards · Practise gratitude with our free Thanksgiving printable
Frequently asked questions
What does the Bible say about selfish people?
It warns that selfishness damages relationships and leads away from God. James says, "where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work" (James 3:16), and Paul lists "lovers of their own selves" (2 Timothy 3:2) among the marks of difficult times. Yet the Bible also offers hope: the gospel can turn a selfish heart outward. Jesus changed Zacchaeus, a greedy tax collector, into a generous man in a single afternoon (Luke 19:8).
Is self-care selfish?
Not when it keeps you able to love God and others. Jesus regularly withdrew to rest and pray (Luke 5:16; Mark 6:31), and He told His disciples to come away and rest. Selfishness ignores others' needs for our own comfort; healthy self-care looks after the body and mind God gave you so you can keep serving. See rest and loving yourself.
How do I stop being selfish?
Start by asking God to show you your blind spots, and ask a trusted friend too. Then practise small acts of unselfishness every day: listen more than you talk, give before you are asked, let someone else choose, and serve without being noticed. Paul's test is simple: "Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth" (1 Corinthians 10:24). Over time, habits shape the heart.
How should I respond to a selfish spouse, friend or family member?
Speak honestly and kindly about the specific behaviour, not their whole character. Pray for them, and keep showing the generosity you want to see. Jesus calls us to forgive, but forgiveness is not the same as allowing yourself to be used or harmed. If selfishness turns into control, threats or abuse, get help. See marriage problems and forgiveness.
Unselfishness never means accepting abuse. If someone calls you selfish for protecting yourself or your children from harm, reach out for help: in the US the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or call 911 in an emergency.
Sources: All Scripture quotations are from the King James Version (KJV), public domain in the United States. References were checked against the KJV text from bible-api.com.
Related: Humility · Giving · Helping other people · Loving thy neighbor · Jealousy · Money · Sacrifice · Tithing
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